I've really got to make a change. The one thing I never thought I'd be was fat.
If anything people thought I'd never even be a normal weight after years of suffering from anorexia, severe depression, anxiety and stress. But now , after 7 months solid of binge eating and since the last month, very little exercise too, I've put on 2 and half stone. I'm now on the bordering on obese size. And I hate it.
Yet now, I seem to have an addiction to food. And a severe laziness in motivation to do any form of exercise. I seriously don't know how this has happened and the thing that scares me the most is that I won't ever be able to stop.
I'm a person of extremes. I'm never one to do things by halves and also a creature of habit. If I alter my routine in any way, for example not doing my exercise the minute I got up, not doing my sit-ups and stretches of a night or even eating a whole tub of full fat ice cream every single night. I now can't stop.
This needs to change!
It really scares me that I won't but I need to make a plan and this blog is going to be a part of it. Now I'm not expecting anyone to read this, in fact I kind of hope no one ever does. But I need the risk that someone could be following my (planned) progress and therefore I can't have people knowing I'm a failure.
It may be slow. It may have it's ups and downs. But by the end of the summer, I want to be half a stone lighter, with a flat stomach and thighs that don't touch.
Let's just hope it works...
No comments:
Post a Comment